Our shadows taller than our soul.

Sometimes while standing under the nearby bridge,

Smoking a joint and listening to the rolling stones,

I see a figure chiseled off the haze.

It used to be awkward till today when I finally broke the ice.

“When I walk alone,

 I don’t wish to see a shadow that’s not my own.”

“I ain’t no shadow, just one of your thought personified.

The most beautiful thought you could ever think of!

I am something you always longed for, something that you were always denied,

It was me whom you mistook for the conspiracy for fate’s mirth.

And it was me whom you were looking for when you kissed all those girls.”

 That last sentence of hers brought a frown on my face;

A default expression for most men when they just don’t know what to say.

“What was I looking for?

Don’t give me those riddles, one thing that I don’t like to play.”

“You look scared, its not the first time though.

Every time I showed up in someone you quickly moved away.”

 “I think I have your name lady, say no more!”

 “Men have always worshiped what scared them,

That’s how we created our gods.

It’s not that I don’t worship you Love,

But it’s just to embrace you that I am afraid of.”

“Could you just show me your face once?

The euphoria is beginning to fade away.

I am not certain if I will see you ever again.”

“Caution here Love’s lover “, the enticing image spoke after a pause.

“I told you I am your most beautiful thought;

 Will you risk ruining the elegance by giving me a human form? “

Hard Earned Freedom

I thought that the break-up would set me free.

Free from the cliches, from the exaggerated displays of affection.

And from the obligations of uncomfortably long night calls.

But to tell you my true thoughts was a Herculean task.

hence I turned to an old friend, best in her class,

Some call her liquid courage, others call her moonshine.

Thanks to her, with her help I ended it at last.

I had been feeling guilty ever since,
Why? That had been an unanswered question.
Finally she gave me the solution last night,
I thank her for that conversation.


That feeling, the guilt, was rooted in her love,
And now its finally gone.
Thanks for hating me so much!
What hurts is the way you set me free,
Too bad that you never followed me.


You could have been remembered as an innocent childhood crush,
But its you who chose the oblivion's curse.
I will not throw away the diary you gave me,
And those cards and those flowers, they still seem so fresh.
But I will make sure that
They get covered with dust.

I could never love you.
And I am afraid that I won't be able to reciprocate your hatred too.


Its actually weird how love inspired the guilt,
And how hatred brought an end to my apprehensions.
Now fill my glass till the brim,
tonight I drink To my long awaited freedom.  

Beside the downtown model shop

Life has been good so far.
I think you have seen me before,
I sit right beside the downtown model shop.

I knew your father, a "celebrated" man.
He used to give me a rupee or two sometimes after having his daily paan.
I have not seen him lately though,
But that din't bother me much, beggars are busy you know!
And i remember your first time, 
You sneaked out very cautiously like drinking was a horrible crime.
Haven't you been coming here for about a decade son ?
I never had what they sell here but i believe its a lot of fun.
Every time you buy a navy cut, you gave me four bucks.
Such generosity I expect only from few.
Maybe that's why I always wait for you.

I also know about those special events in your life,
Your first job treat, your marriage , your promotions....
And some nights when you weren't here, nobody gave me a dime, 
It was hard to sleep on the cold street, and I had no money even to dine.


You might be wondering that why this old man is wasting your time,
I know you aren't jobless son, I will come straight to point.
Last night when you were on a call,
I could not help but overhear you.
You were standing right next to my spot.


Don't do this to him son, he is too old to be left alone,
Nature's justice is poetic, were you never told ?

 After that I could not say more,
And i came back to my spot.

The incident  was back again,
Faded anger got masked by fresh pain.

It wasn't just my bad luck, 
It seems to have crept into my family blood.


At distance stood my grandson, smoking another navy cut...

This is the end

He stood there with burning eyes.

His breath fast, the place echoed with his suffocating sighs.

“It must be how you feel when you’re dying”

He had been waiting for it from a long time,

What was real, what was a manifestation never really mattered throughout his life.

But this, this was different,

He spent his life looking forward to this.

“all my life has been dazed and confused, I wish I were sober when I were dying .“

Estrangements, rejections, blames were always welcomed by,

“A seat is definitely reserved for me there”, he thought every time after getting high.

But this quite wasn’t what he expected,

No smoke, no darkness, no snakes to bite,

“What the hell is this ? ”, he cursed for the last time with wounded pride.

“it’s the last opportunity, give me what u got,” he murmured to his mind,

“She never came till now, why would she come to your funeral?” was all that was going inside.

A few peep-holes to his childhood, his mom smiling when he walked for the first time,

Everything was fading, there was just one issue left to decide,

Will it be light forever or will it be finally de-light.

 “Maybe they weren’t just mocking when they called me insane”

The death finally was there, still he felt ashamed,

“t‘was God or Satan who stood by me my whole life?”

“oh no!, this can’t be hell.” he cried seeing so much light,

He stood aghast in heaven, still, with burning eyes.